This too shall pass...(now would be good)

Little did I realise when I wrote my last post just how life would propel my family down the most difficult of paths that we have ever walked along. Little did I realise as I sat in the sterile, hospital room with my husband, gazing out at the vignette of the autumnal trees with the lovely church spires ascending to the heavens, that our lives would change forevermore.

My husband has been diagnosed with Cancer, and whilst I have always regarded my blog as a happy place, always wishing to beam a spark of cheerfulness and sprinkle a little colour and whimsy to you lovely people who follow my blog, I feel I need to explain why I have not visited each one of your delightful blogs of late.

These last couple of weeks have been a constant revolving door of doctors, specialists, MRIs, CT scans etc etc. We have been bombarded by a plethora of information that I have been engulfed by an anaesthetised numbness. It has been an emotional couple of weeks. I have my 'blubbering idiot' moments, my moments of sheer panic and my moments of calm.

Both my husband and I have a deep faith in God. Our daily walk is one of faith, one of trust in God, even though we have no inkling of what tomorrow may bring. We have no idea what paths this next journey will lead us down, but we believe that we can only take one day at a time. To look at the gargantuan boulders in the middle of the road blocking our way, to look at the Tolkien-esque huge and looming trees overhanging the road, swiping us as we pass would only cause me panic. There have been many moments these last weeks where I have come face to face with this execrable creature, they call PANIC! I have cried many, many tears. Why oh why was I born with an oversupply of tear ducts??

There are many of you, I know, who have a loved one walking along the insidious path of cancer, or indeed a loved one struggling with an overwhelming illness. I have sensed from your writings it is a grueling and exhausting journey, a journey filled with the gamut of conflicting emotions. I am thinking of you with compassion as I write.

We live in a small rural town where friends have been amazing. Both my husband and I have been humbled and overwhelmed as to the loving support and care some of these salt of the earth 'treasures', which we are honoured to call friends, have shown us. Smiles from God indeed!

So.....the ensuing weeks....months......will find me waiting in hospital rooms whilst my brave and wonderful husband undergoes treatment. It will be strange to think the world outside will go on as usual whilst I am waiting.....waiting.  My husband truly is the best man I know. As I wait, perhaps I will stitch my hexie quilt (aaaah yes....my hexie has been rather neglected of late and has a ways to go) or perhaps there will be the clickety clacking of knitting needles, breaking the hushed tones of the waiting rooms. I have a feeling the stitching of a pretty or the knitting of a woolly will perhaps keep my mind from sliding down that slippery slope.

So over the next coming weeks, months, from time to time, I hope to visit your lovely blogs and read  your engaging posts; as you all in your own unique way bring a smile to my  heart......please forgive me if I miss one or two.

As I finish, I am comforted in the familiarity that God whispers in my heart...."do not fear, I am here". He and my family have walked many a difficult path together through the years and I am assured He is walking with our family today....tomorrow......and at times, carrying us. He has done so many a time before and I am assured He will once again. So in the coming weeks........months, I pray God will steady each one of my family's hearts, quiet our minds so that we may hear our Heavenly Father's voice and throughout the difficult days ahead, we will recognise the peace of God in our hearts. AND.......perhaps, dare I utter it, there might even be moments when my husband's and my wicked and droll senses of humour gurgle to the surface.

Until the next time..........