Saturday, June 13, 2015

This too shall pass...(now would be good)

Little did I realise when I wrote my last post just how life would propel my family down the most difficult of paths that we have ever walked along. Little did I realise as I sat in the sterile, hospital room with my husband, gazing out at the vignette of the autumnal trees with the lovely church spires ascending to the heavens, that our lives would change forevermore.


My husband has been diagnosed with Cancer, and whilst I have always regarded my blog as a happy place, always wishing to beam a spark of cheerfulness and sprinkle a little colour and whimsy to you lovely people who follow my blog, I feel I need to explain why I have not visited each one of your delightful blogs of late.

These last couple of weeks have been a constant revolving door of doctors, specialists, MRIs, CT scans etc etc. We have been bombarded by a plethora of information that I have been engulfed by an anaesthetised numbness. It has been an emotional couple of weeks. I have my 'blubbering idiot' moments, my moments of sheer panic and my moments of calm.

Both my husband and I have a deep faith in God. Our daily walk is one of faith even though we cannot see. We have no idea what paths this next journey will lead us down, but we believe that we can only take one day at a time. To look at the gargantuan boulders in the middle of the road blocking our way, to look at the Tolkien-esque huge and looming trees overhanging the road, swiping us as we pass would only cause me panic. There have been many moments these last weeks where I have come face to face with this execrable creature, they call PANIC! I have cried many, many tears. Why oh why was I born with an oversupply of tear ducts??

There are many of you, I know, who have a loved one walking along the insidious path of cancer, or indeed a loved one struggling with an overwhelming illness. I have sensed from your writings it is a grueling and exhausting journey, a journey filled with the gamut of conflicting emotions. I am thinking of you with compassion as I write.

We live in a small rural town where friends have been amazing. Both my husband and I have been humbled and overwhelmed as to the loving support and care some of these salt of the earth 'treasures', which we are honoured to call friends, have shown us. Smiles from God indeed!

So.....the ensuing weeks....months......will find me waiting in hospital rooms whilst my brave and wonderful husband undergoes treatment. It will be strange to think the world outside will go on as usual whilst I am waiting.....waiting.  My husband truly is the best man I know. As I wait, perhaps I will stitch my hexie quilt (aaaah yes....my hexie has been rather neglected of late and has a ways to go) or perhaps there will be the clickety clacking of knitting needles, breaking the hushed tones of the waiting rooms. I have a feeling the stitching of a pretty or the knitting of a woolly will perhaps keep my mind from sliding down that slippery slope.


So over the next coming weeks, months, from time to time, I hope to visit your lovely blogs and read  your engaging posts; as you all in your own unique way bring a smile to my  heart......please forgive me if I miss one or two.

As I finish, I am comforted in the familiarity that God whispers in my heart...."do not fear, I am here". He and my family have walked many a difficult path together through the years and I am assured He is walking with our family today....tomorrow......and at times, carrying us. He has done so many a time before and I am assured He will once again. So in the coming weeks........months, I pray God will steady each one of my family's hearts, quiet our minds so that we may hear our Heavenly Father's voice and throughout the difficult days ahead, we will recognise the peace of God in our hearts. AND.......perhaps, dare I utter it, there might even be moments when my husband's and my wicked and droll senses of humour gurgle to the surface.



Until the next time..........







41 comments:

  1. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will light a candle and say a prayer for you. My Mother had cancer when I was alittle girl and she beat it and lived a long life afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Kim, I'm SO sorry to read this post, it's the most awful news that every body dreads, keep positive and take one day at a time, know we're all here thinking of you. big big hugs. I'm sure any craft you choose to do will be relaxing for you.
    hugs
    Summer

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Kim; I am sending you huge hugs and positive thoughts from my side of the world. As you continue to be a pillar of strength for your husband, please remember to care for yourself as well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Kim! I'm very sorry to hear your sad news. I've been wondering how you are. I so much hope your husband's treatment goes well. I can't altogether think of what to say but I want you to know that I will be thinking of you and wishing you both well from the other side of the world. Hugs xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. No need to look at my blog or answer this- just wanted to let you know that people world-wide will be thinking of you, your family and especially your husband at this time. Post when you feel like you have the energy and want to. Concentrate on your husband and family, they are all that count at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. chin up chuck , fellas have a habit of doing this to us . try a smile a day it does help

    ReplyDelete
  7. So sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you from the other side of the world.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Kim.....my dear, sweet friend how my heart aches for you! You and your dear husband have been in my prayers for the last few weeks {ever since you emailed me} and I will continue to lift both of you up to the Lord.

    How I pray that you find comfort, strength, and peace in the precious arms of our Heavenly Father, and how I pray that your husband finds healing from the great Physician. There is such sweet hope found in Jesus Christ and I am so thankful that you and your husband have your faith to carry you through this difficult time.

    Sweet Kim, if I can do anything please do not hesitate to ask. In any way, shape or form I am here for you. Sending you love and thousands of hugs....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Kim; I am so sad to read your post today. I offer you prayers and words of encouragement. I hope for you and your husbands world to turn right side up again. I believe in the power of prayers and God. Blessing to you both. I pray for you to have the strength to take you through this difficult time. And I will pray for a cure for Cancer. When you have a moment or two; please keep us up on how you are doing. You will be in my thoughts. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  10. May God pour his blessing on you, your husband, and your family, and may the prayers of your friends and family be answered. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh Kim. I don't know what I can say to help you through this horrid time for you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your husband along the way. DO NOT forget to take extra special care of yourself through this time - and let your tears flow whenever you feel the need - it helps believe it or not. Take care beautiful friend - special hugs and love coming your way. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Kim, My heart aches for you and your husband. I will certainly keep you both close in my heart and prayers. I believe with all my heart that the Lord brings certain blog friends together who have walked/are walking similar paths. My husband and I have been where you two are; we are blessed to have a family of Christian brothers and sisters thru blogging who have prayed earnestly for us. Please know that we understand your absence but would dearly love for you to update us here when you have the opportunity. Sending love and hugs, Mildred

    ReplyDelete
  13. It is such a life changing event to have a loved one - or be diagnosed - with such an insidious disease. It is also such a painfully personal one too and so different for everyone who experiences it. Your faith will tested that's for sure. There will be times when all those offers of help and support will seem intrusive; you will come to crave as little interference in your life as possible but I urge you to take them. It is much too difficult a journey to manage on your own.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh Kim. Dear dear Kim. I have been thinking of you. So sorry for your news. God sees our tears.
    I will be praying for your hubby, and for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dearest Kim,
    God will surround you with songs of deliverance for He is your hiding place. May you find peace for your weary soul in these coming days ahead as you take refuge in your Great God.
    He is the Lord of compassion who weeps with us as we go through those dark valleys of pain.
    Your Shepherd will lead you and sustain you through every event that will come your way.
    Praise His Holy Name!!
    My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family in the days ahead.

    I'm giving you a big [[hug]] right this very moment and a tender kiss on your cheek, my dear a sweet friend.
    Much love to you ~ Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh dear me Kim. I read your post through 3 times & simply could not find the words to write here. Then I took myself back just over 10 years ago when this happened to my hubby & wondered what I would've wanted someone to say to me. And I realised there are no words that can actually make this any better. It is a process & one you just have to take day by day, or even hour by hour sometimes. Sometimes just really tiny steps are all we can manage. I am so very, deeply sorry to read this for you & for your husband, I well remember the tears I shed at the time, many tears like you. I shall pray for you both Kim & for your family & know that you will find the strength to get you through this difficult time. Please know that we are all thinking of you out here in blogland & sending you gentle hugs & positive affirmations right through cyberspace. I think taking your craft along to help you will definately be a good idea. Sending loving thoughts & prayers to you at this very difficult time dear Kim x0x0x0x0x0

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, dear sweet Kim, my heart and prayers are with you and your dear husband. I can't tell you I understand what you are going through, but I can and will pray that you have a peace that passes all understanding! Love

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dearest Kim, You are ever so far away from California. But, in my heart you are close as my prayers reach out and bridge the distance. I am on my way to bed, and thought to do a quick check of my email. I am not a constant blogger, or blog commenter, but I have loved the few times we have chatted and recall your blog posts fondly. I am thankful you have God and your faith during this time. My best gift now is to pray for you. Heavenly Father, I lift up Kim, her husband and their family and friends and hospital staff to You. I ask for wisdom, and direction. I pray for peace for all of them and if it be your will Lord, a speedy recovery. If there is a bigger picture and reason for this process that we can not understand, I pray they endure it with a grace that surpasses understanding and only gives glory back to You Lord. That everyone around them would know the great love they have for You, and that You would be glorified through it all. I believe that without trials no one would need You. And the way we as Christians handle those trials is our testimony to those around us. Please Lord, give Kim and her husband the strength they need for this trial. Keep Your joy in their hearts through it all, and may they grow ever closer to You and to each other through this. Thank You for the opportunity to pray for them. We love you Lord, and we trust You to take care of us no matter what. In Jesus name, Amen.
    Please email me anytime. God bless you both. ~Heather Elizabeth (bluejeansandteacups@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh Kim! I wish that I could help (or, at the very least, give you a hug). I know that God never gives us more than we can manage, though it may feel as though we are being stretched beyond our capacity. I am comforted to know that you and your husband are loved and supported. I am grateful for your friendship and will pray for you and your husband. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  20. In amongst all that is to follow there will be stillness and calm and good memories. Wishing you bucket loads of all three. And I would heartily recommend a little bit of sewing, some knitting and a good book for those 'waiting' times.
    Sending love and hope, good wishes and prayers from my little patch of England.
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  21. I know not what to say Kim. Life's paths are often a mystery, to ones we would choose for ourselves. I guess we can all just be grateful to wake up each morning and do each day what we can. Some pretty distractions certainly sound in order - maybe some quilting/pretty magazines as well for times when the hands don't wish to be busy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Kim, my heart goes out to ou and your husband. You don not mention what type of cancer but if you need to ask questions as a nurse of more than 20 years in colorectal and upper Gi surgical nursing I would be happy to direct/ respond to your queries as I am able. i am sure that your doctors/ nurses are able to do the same but sometimes it is good to have a friendly ear in such trying times. Many blessings and God speed. hopefully a low grade cancer no mets xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  23. PS I was wondering where you had got to...couldnt you have gone OS on a big holiday instead :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh I've been thinking of you and your husband. You are in our prayers. Keep some stitiching with you....my mom got a lot of knitting done as she sat with during my own appointments and chemo sessions. It was very comforting to have her by side doing what she loves.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wishing you and your husband the best of luck. Living with a cancer survivor for many years I know this is a struggle!Be brave!AriadnefromGreece!

    ReplyDelete
  26. So sorry to hear this, please care for yourself as you support your family. All else can wait, and if you find some escape for a moment with a bit of reading, that is good. Best wishes to your husband.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sweetpea,
    I am sorry to hear of your sad news. I have a friend who has just been through his
    long journey of fighting cancer and thankfully he is on the come back trail. I stood by
    him over the last 2 years and there were many ups and downs. I'm beaming you love
    and strength.
    Hugs and kisses, Anita.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am so sorry to hear this, Kim!! I hate that both of you have to go through this ordeal. All I can offer is hugs and hope that they will make you feel a tiny bit better.

    -Soma xxx

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear Kim, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. It is a hard road, but God will be with you, as will all your friends here. My dad is going through the same thing at the moment. He is starting stem cell treatment next week and then chemo, and it does become all consuming. Just know we (and I'm sure I speak for everyone who loves your blog) are all here for you and thinking of and praying for you always. Prayers and hugs to you both, Jayne.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am sorry to hear this Kim. I was wondering about you. I offer you hugs I hope the treatment works. And make care, Teresa.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am sorry to hear your sad news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'll be holding you all in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh Kim, my heart goes out to you and your husband during this time. All the best for a good outcome from his treatment in the weeks ahead. May you feel supported and strengthened by the many well wishes, thoughts, and prayers by friends and family.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thinking of you today...sending a gentle hug and remembering you both in my prayers. xo

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am so sorry to hear this. Sending hugs of healing light to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I will certainly keep you both in my prayers. Take care of yourself sweet lady. Hugs, Diane

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thinking if you and your hubby and keeping you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  37. have been thinking of you both lots lately , let me know if I can do anything to help even if it's mow a lawn , Karen Haywood

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so very much, Karen, you are very kind. We are both overwhelmed with both yours, and everyone else's generosity and very thankful! It makes walking down this rocky path a li'l easier.

      Delete
  38. Dearest, dearest Kim... Oh, I haven't visited your lovely blog in quite some time, so I only just saw your post this morning...

    My heart is heavy for you as you embark this challenging road of supporting your husband through his cancer, but I know our heavenly father can be relied upon for strength and support, and He will never let you or your husband go...
    I pray Jesus would wrap His loving arms around you and encourage you to rest in Him even while you walk through this valley...
    Your family are in my prayers, dear Kim!
    Many blessings and hugs to you!
    With love,
    Kelly-Anne

    ReplyDelete
  39. Sending you and your husband prayers. And praying for you both to tangibly feel God's love and peace on this journey.
    Your bag is simply gorgeous and lucious! Hope you can find some respite in your creative moments.
    Susie

    ReplyDelete
  40. Dear Kim - sending you and your husband blessings- i wish him a speedy recovery and I wish you strength and courage.

    ReplyDelete